A man and stress - there’s no stronger combo

Lets start off very science-y. Let’s dive into the facts of when a man becomes stressed. The stress response system (hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis) and the sympathetic nervous system (which we discussed last week) overload. Fight-or-flight response (sympathetic nervous system) is activated, signs of increased aggression and decreased immune functioning are the symptoms of stress. Rather than validating their experience and emotions, for men it is “easier” to keep pushing on.

Typically men find it difficult to admit something is wrong and then seeking help is even more difficult. The world that today’s men grew up in taught them to see anything less than complete functionality as weakness. We all recognize this as completely unfair (you are enough) but it is ingrained (in a lot of women too). So, it is not uncommon for men to avoid expressing emotions of sadness and fear.

Another factor is hormone imbalance. Specifically associated with irritability, mood swings, decreased motivation, depression, and/or anxiety - this is specifically seen in testosterone deficiency. As men age their level lowers by 3% each year. 

So, what should men be looking out for? Or, what can I look for in men in my life?

The individual and those around them can watch a change in appearance or energy (decreased energy, pale, sluggish), isolating themselves (not replying to texts, calls, emails, invitations), doing less of the things they love (hobbies, trips, etc), and potential increase in substance use or gambling (which can easily become addictive during hard times). These warning signs are known coping strategies to deal with being unwell (mentally). 

What should I do if I notice a man in my life is acting this way?

Make sure he knows that you are there for him, open the line of communication. It is hard for men to open up, you may have to keep an eye on him if he doesn’t. However, if he does open up to you, ensure to validate not only their feelings but their experience. A lot of men have been through a great deal of trauma that not even they want to recognise. An example of validation would be “it is completely human to feel how you are feeling right now”. Emotions are our body’s way of communication with us, this is not always helpful. 

This is seen in the nervous system. For example the sympathetic response of anxiety reveals that something we fear or worry about could or will occur. These cues are important but not always helpful. This is why we have coping strategies to alleviate symptoms. The number one for Men is exercise. 

Studies have shown that depressive symptoms decrease when exercising the suggested 150 minutes per week rather than not at all. Statistically one in eight men experience depression, one in five will experience anxiety, and 6 men per day die by suicide in Australia. Exercise won’t magically cure anxiety and depression but chemically speaking it can alleviate symptoms for some time - that’s on the power of endorphins. It is also a way to structure routine into the day and have human contact, both important factors in managing stress and anxiety. 

There are other coping strategies out there for anxiety and depression. Professionals suggest breathwork, meditation, yoga, art, being outside, even petting a dog reduces the stress in the body (a great excuse to give Django or Chino a pat/cuddle). There are more sensory techniques like scanning your body, focusing solely on what you can feel, grounding, and fidget objects (a favorite of mine - if you want to buy one I know the best place). As discussed, routine is a major factor to create stability in life, you can even work your coping strategies into your routine. 

The entire point of coping strategies is to help manage the severity of symptoms and reduce the risk of future incidents while working through the root cause. 

So, find your strategy. Find your way to relax. Do you need to talk to someone around you? Do you need to take some steps to feel more like yourself again?

It is important that if a situation deteriorates to seek professional help, or call a helpline: 

Lifeline 13 11 14

Mental Health Access Line 1300 MH CALL (1300 642255)

Beyond Blue 1300 22 46 36

Griefline 1300 845 527

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

There is absolutely no harm in calling a help line. It is completely confidential and they are literally there to help. 

There is no shame in needing help and guidance and maybe that starts with a phone call.

Until next week